blahhhhhh

frustration, confusion, up and down, roller coaster.
about to take off, like on that disney ride.
boom.
moments pass, and then i'm back to square one. or in a new square but feeling like i'm in the same place.
just a little more tired.
i'm tired.
i'm also at peace.
living in the moment.
whatever happens, happens.
dreaming of rolling fields and memories and haverford themed dances...
but remembering the flavors of my teriyaki tofu from earlier... and realizing that my time passed.
i gotta just live.
it's weird cause the confusion passes and i'm feeling soothed and at ease. but then something stirs, and i worry that time is slipping away, that i don't understand, that life is out of my control.
but then the worry subsides and is replaced with a feeling of resolution. things really do work out in their own way.
the horoscope was right.
a romance with a blue moon, a serial killer with rubber gloves in a park, awkward hugs good-bye....
and that was that.
but the mystery is just unfolding, as a new chapter opens in my book..
thank you Punxatawny (sp?) Phil.
your declaration of winter means more snowfall, more beauty, more boots... and also more layers of clothing, and with that, confusion.
but most of all, it means that i have the choice. to remain confused and feel stagnant, or to revel in the moment and feel at peace with the unknowable weather....and more than that, to KNOW that i'll be prepared for whatever happens, and embrace the moment fully.